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Miss Manners Is Insane
Evan's Movie ListThe X-Files Quote Game
Poems
Grandpa Dave's Infinite Wisdom
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Miss Manners is Insane
My latest theory is that Miss Manners has gone psychotic. While browsing through a quote book to find words of wisdom to put on this site I came across a section called "Bad Advice". Little did I know that not one but two quotes from Miss Manners were there. When asked what to say to a guest's child who is destroying your home, Miss Manners suggests you turn to the child, "Aaron", and say
And, on children's ettiquite at the dinner table Miss Manners was glad to offer the advice that
And then the other day I open the newspaper and guess who's haircut I see? (What is up with that haircut anyway?!) And here is the letter and response:
Dear Miss Manners:
I have very long, well-taken-care-of hair. The issue is this: Whenever I go out in public, complete strangers walk up to me and start playing with my hair, raking their fingers through it, or even pulling it to see if it is real. What would be an appropriate way to tell them to stop without making anyone feel uncomfortable?
Gentle Reader: The correct thing to say is "HELP!" If you sincerely want to make such a person feel comfortable, you could instead say "Mmmmm," but Miss Manners regrets to tell you that this will not encourage anyone to stop.
Evan's List Of Great Movies In No Particular Order
Waiting For Guffman
Best In Show
Airplane!
Terminator 2 : Judgement Day
And Now For Something Completely Different
Wrongfully Accused
The X-Files Quote Game
From what X-Files Episode is the following quote? If you don't know the exact name, a brief description of the episode will suffice. Send your replies to [email protected] Here's the quote:
"No, what you were afraid of were the possibilities. The truth we both knew."
Poems
This is the poem section. To submit a poem, send it to [email protected] and I will try to put them up ASAP. Now I have to share a poem told to me by the great Roseanne Roseannadanna, written by her grandmother, Nana Roseannadanna. It goes something like this:
If the meat is red it will make you fat
It's bad for your heart, and you don't want that.
If the meat is white your veins will thicken
Considering the chemicals they inject in the chicken!
Hot dogs, bologna, salami, forget 'em!
Noone alive knows what's in 'em!
And there's nuclear pollution
So I guess you'd better not drink the water!
And I said
"Nana, don't make a fuss!"
"If the food don't kill me I'll get hit by a bus!"
"We're all gonna die, from all things or one thing"
"As my daddy used to say"
"'It's always something!'"
Ahhh...inspiring, no?
The Infinite Wisdom Of Grandpa Dave
(Not Affiliated With Grandma Dave!)
Hello there, my name is Grandpa Dave, and I'm here to answer YOUR questions about life! That's right, to heck with Dear Abby, I say Abby Shmabby! Ann Landers take a hike; Grandpa Dave is coming through! Got a question? E-mail it to me at [email protected] and I'll respond ASAP!
Today, our first letter is from "Sean Domino" in "Kentucky" "Sean" writes:
Dear Grandpa Dave,
I am a big fan of roast beef. Yesterday, I went to the store to purchase some, and they were sold out. Suddenly, I saw a large chunk of roast beef walking towards me. I began to gnaw at it, and it turns out that it was in fact somebody's grandmother! Dave, is this normal? Should I seek help?
Dear Mr. Domino,
No, this is perfectly normal behavior. Grandmothers are a perfectly acceptable substitute for roast beef.
-Grandpa Dave
From what X-Files Episode is the following quote? If you don't know the exact name, a brief description of the episode will suffice. Send your replies to [email protected] Here's the quote:
Poems
This is the poem section. To submit a poem, send it to [email protected] and I will try to put them up ASAP. Now I have to share a poem told to me by the great Roseanne Roseannadanna, written by her grandmother, Nana Roseannadanna. It goes something like this:
It's bad for your heart, and you don't want that.
If the meat is white your veins will thicken
Considering the chemicals they inject in the chicken!
Hot dogs, bologna, salami, forget 'em!
Noone alive knows what's in 'em!
And there's nuclear pollution
So I guess you'd better not drink the water!
And I said
"Nana, don't make a fuss!"
"If the food don't kill me I'll get hit by a bus!"
"We're all gonna die, from all things or one thing"
"As my daddy used to say"
"'It's always something!'"
Ahhh...inspiring, no?
The Infinite Wisdom Of Grandpa Dave
(Not Affiliated With Grandma Dave!)
Today, our first letter is from "Sean Domino" in "Kentucky" "Sean" writes:
Dear Grandpa Dave,
I am a big fan of roast beef. Yesterday, I went to the store to purchase some, and they were sold out. Suddenly, I saw a large chunk of roast beef walking towards me. I began to gnaw at it, and it turns out that it was in fact somebody's grandmother! Dave, is this normal? Should I seek help?
Dear Mr. Domino,
No, this is perfectly normal behavior. Grandmothers are a perfectly acceptable substitute for roast beef.
-Grandpa Dave